WHO INFLUENCED YOU? HAVE YOU TOLD THEM SO?

Jack, I took your advice (about being on TOP) and Thought on Purpose along the bank of a well-stocked black bass pond. I reflected on the people who have inspired me…Needless to say Jack, your winning style, charismatic zeal for life and unique talents placed you high on my list.                 Bill Kula, Verizon

 

PEOPLE WHO HAVE INFLUENCED ME

     
Euna Thomas Pyle
Born Oct. 23, 1919 in Hollywood, MO – Died Aug. 17, 2001 in Mason, MI

Who is more special than a mom to most people? Mine treasured me and made me a focal point in her life. Being an only child probably made it a lot easier to do than if there were other children to spoil, too. Mom was extravagant in her love. She never seemed to hold back. She was known for expressing her thoughts, too. This trait can bother some people, but most folks liked her out-spoken candor.

I expressed my feelings for Mom in a Mother's Day letter May 9, 1990.

Dear Mom: I've been thinking about you a lot with Mother's Day approaching. You've always been very special to me. When I was young, you were the person I went to if I had troubles. You always knew how to ease the hurts, both the physical pains and the emotional troubles. The love you gave is still there in a special place in my heart reserved only for you. There really is no way to express in words how much I value your love for me. You always made me feel like I was unique and wonderful. That gave me the confidence to learn and grow and become the optimistic, successful person I am today. A mother's love means everything to a growing boy. It still does. I appreciate the way you still think of me. Doing little things to show me you still care. Making me cookies. Pinching my butt. Hugging me. Calling me on the phone. Driving to see me. Showing me off to your friends. You taught me a lot. You are a wise person, wise in the ways of the world. And you shared your wisdom with me, teaching me great truths about how to live my life. Caring about others. Being truthful. Not getting too upset when things don't go my way. Having confidence that the best will happen eventually. Bluffing at poker. The value of friendships. You taught me to bake a pie, win a poker hand, sew a design or a button, wash dishes. But mostly, you taught me to be a good person, like you. I'll be thinking about you on Mother's Day, Mom, because you are the greatest. I don't know how anyone could have as good a mother as you, and I'm lucky that I'm the one who calls you Mom. I love you dearly because of all the love you've given me.

     

Clarence Allen Pyle
Born July 21, 1914 in Dexter, MO – Died Feb. 14, 2001 in Lansing, MI

Known to his family and friends as Allen, Dad was not well educated. He went to school for four years. Yet he was one of the smartest men I ever knew. In his four years of schooling, he graduated from the eighth grade. He told me he often taught the classes when the teacher couldn't be at the one-room school. He served on the executive board of his union when he worked at an auto products plant that made rubber floor mats. Later when we worked at the same GM plant, I was amazed at his mastery of the union contract. As a college graduate I found it daunting to understand.

I didn't get to know Dad well as a child because he always worked two jobs. We become very close when I became an adult. I always thought he was disappointed in me because I was not good at sports. When I asked him about it at age 19, he told me he was always very proud of me because I was good at so many things and so active in a wide range of school activities. (Let my experience be a reminder to Dads everywhere to tell your children how you feel about them.) We both learned to express our feelings about each other when I was grown, and his last words to me were: "I love you."

I told Dad about my feelings for him in a Father's Day letter June 17, 1990

Dear Dad: You’ve been on my mind a lot with the approach of Father’s Day this year. I’m proud of you and happy you’re my daddy. I know how hard you worked to give us a good home and a good life. We always had a nice place to live, plenty of good food and security. Frankly, I didn’t appreciate you as much when I was very young as I did later. You weren’t around much because you were doing what you had to do. You were risking your life to fight a war and save our democracy and our freedom. How can we ever express to you and the others who served in World War II how much it means to have saved our way of life? I’m just glad you were there; and I’m glad you came back. You were working two full-time jobs most of your life because that’s what it took to provide for your family. There aren’t many men who would have the strength and determination to be able to do that! You did something that made it much easier for me to give my family a good life like you did – you taught me the value of an education. I always knew I would go to college. You instilled in me an understanding of the importance of good grades and participating in what school had to offer. It has been the foundation of my success in life. I’ve always admired your intelligence. You weren’t able to get much of an education yourself, but you are one of the smartest men I know. As a child I didn’t realize how much you loved me. But I’m glad I found out before I was grown. As a child I didn’t realize how much I loved you. Even today, my love and my appreciation for you continue to grow, Dad. I wouldn’t be what I am today without your love and the values you taught me. On this special day, I thank God you are my father.

 

Allen Robert Pyle
Ah, the first born child. What a special relationship that starts. Allen didn't know it at the time because he was a young child, but he made me realize I needed training to become the kind of parent I always wanted to be. I didn't want to be like Dad. He wasn't a bad guy at all. He just didn't have time for me because he worked16-18 hours a day. I wanted to spend time with my children. So I took parenting training and read a lot of good books on the subject. When Allen was 25 he said to me: "You know how kids say they don't want to raise their kids they way they were raised?" I told him that thought generated a lot of emotions in my mind because I felt that way as a child. "I don't feel that way," he said. "I want to raise my children exactly the way I was raised." He gave me a hug and told me I was a good Dad. Wow, I still feel emotional thinking about it.

Learning to be a good listener and encouraging the kids to talk was a peak learning experience for me. It helped me to raise children with high self esteem who are very good communicators. It helped me reach my goal of a great relationship with my life partner, my wife Connie. And it really helped with my career!

Allen is a thinker and a thought leader. I always encouraged him not to believe things he heard, unless he has checked them out for himself. Of course, that meant he didn't always believe me, either. He cares about our world and looks for ways to improve it. He is one of the most spiritual people I've known. He practices Yoga and leads sweat lodges, a Native American spiritual experience. Allen is a wonderful spirit, himself, and has friends around the world. He is known internationally as a perennial guru, (check out www.perennialguru.com which just keeps growing – hm-m-m, that does seem apropos, doesn't it?) He inspired me to plant flower beds, a very spiritual experience. Allen influences me still, in many ways. I love spending time with him. Here is a poem he wrote that reveals a lot. Also check out www.buffalodreaming.com for more of his writings.
 

Churches     by Allen R. Pyle, December 2003 When did we lose touch with Nature? Perhaps it was when we built Churches Safe boxes to worship in Walls to keep the Others out the Unbelievers at bay I will worship in the Meadows I will pray in the Woods I will cry on the Hilltop Recognizing the Creator's spark in the change of Seasons in the Sun and Stars in the Thunderstorm Understanding that all of the Creation is Sacred I Feel the Heartbeat of my Grandmother Everywhere

Kendra Leigh Pyle
My daughter Kendra also helped me learn the wonders of parenting. Full of wonder, herself, she responded to life's challenges and sought to be an achiever, which she is – premier grade level! This kind of child keeps a father on his toes! (I just realized writing this that my dad's intelligence skipped a generation and blossomed in my children.) Later in life Kendra helped me learn to have more empathy and to consider the viewpoints of others much more than I had done before. In other words, she helped open my eyes and my feelings. I allowed myself to be more open to her and we have had wonderful, deep discussions about feelings and about life.

She really cares about nature and shares her enthusiasm by teaching others. She has done wildlife research in several places in the world. She is an environmental educator and leader. She knows so much and keeps learning avidly. It has been enlightening to learn from her. She is very open about sharing her thoughts (sounds a bit like my mother, eh?) She shared much about both of us in a card she sent to me on a Father's Day.

Dear Dad,    Thanks for always encouraging me to find my dreams.    And supporting me when they kept changing!    Thanks for teaching me the importance of a positive attitude, believing in myself, and a firm handshake.    Thanks for raising me to be open-minded, tolerant and non-judgmental.    Thanks for encouraging me to try new things and to think critically.    Thanks for being a great dad!    You're still my favorite dance partner.    Happy Father's Day, Dad,             Love, Kendra

  
Connie Sue Pyle
Born February 26, 1947 in Midland, MI – Died Feb. 3, 2006 in Lansing, MI

We were married almost 38 years, and I was still being positively influenced by my extraordinary wife. It is amazing to me that our relationship just kept improving year after year. And I thought it was really great more than 30 years ago. What a friend, lover and companion she was to me! We kept going deeper and deeper to discover even more that bonded us. Connie was Mother Earth and Mary Poppins and "practically perfect in every way." She exuded warmth and friendliness, wrapping the people around her in joy and comfort. And she wasn't even aware she had that talent. She had the amazing ability to see pictures of what people were telling her. She instinctively knew when a person was in pain and where it hurt. Such empathy is a rare quality. She also was extremely intelligent, as well as full of moxie. She was strong and dependable, warm and joyful. Her artistic creativity flowed in our lives. I loved to hear her laugh, which she did a lot. I am such a fortunate man to have had this wonderful woman in my life!

Here is something I wrote to her on her birthday in 1981. I put it into a small book so that she could always read it when she felt abandoned and fearful, which was an unfortunate thing she dealt with because of her childhood of pain. Through therapy, we had worked through most of it, and she knew she was loved. In the past year we had made major breakthroughs together and were discovering our true selves.

"My Love is Connie. Connie is my love"
Connie love, You are my only, my one. You are my everything. My passion for you, my need for your touch is too great. Never will I get enough of you.
       I remember you first in a crowded room in a floor length blue silk Chinese sheath slit up to your knees. I don't know when we first met, but I remember THAT night. Your were everywhere in my eyes. The rest was in shadows...and you were illuminated. And you were special to me -- to everyone. You sparkled with an energy from your soul. Your light was a bright beacon. You an incredible vision. Not beautiful, but transcending beauty. More than beautiful.
With you I am at peace. You make me warm. You make me cool. With you I feel joy...the joy of life. Your are my life.
       Connie, I have always been fearful when you were occasionally late to meet me. I worried that something dreadful might have happened to you. I knew I could never find another woman to be with who would make my life so full of peacefulness and joy. It gave me great sorrow to even consider life without you.
       Now, I know that nothing can take you from me. We are soul mates. I will be with you again and again through time and space. We've already shared more than any man could hope for from a woman. You've given me everything. But never, never, will I not need just a little more.

[Today, February 6, 2006, I know that the curtain has come down on our lives together. I am a champion. I played the Big Game and won the Super Bowl. I celebrate what we had. And now I have a new game to get ready for. And I am ready. I don't know what the future holds, but I plan to make it a great one.]

Here's another chapter from my book of love to Connie: "Flying home to you"

Yes, I can exist without you. I know I can.
And I can do a lot of other things I don't want to do.
But tonight I know I will have you in my arms again, and my heart soars!
       I never believed I could care so much. You've touched my soul, and now I'm yours forevermore. Tonight we will again join our bodies, our beings, our energy, our juices, our minds, our senses. Becoming one with you is a thrill, and a spiritual awakening. It's like nothing else I've experienced. I'm yours now and tomorrow...and tomorrows endless. I love you.
       Why do I love you? What is about you that I love? There is so much to tell you.
       I like your smile.
       You are kind.
       You are a warm, loving person who makes everyone feel at ease.
       You never criticize me.
       You make me happy to be me.
       You are a wonderful mother, and you make beautiful babies.
       You dazzle my eyes. Your laugh sparkles.
       You feel like silk. Your touch makes me tremble. Your looks drive me wild.
I like your wit and intelligence. You are a great cook. You're fun and funny. You are a great lover and getting even better all the time. In short, you are just about the most incredible friend, lover, wife, hostess, mother, teacher, nurse, companion, female person a man could hope for. My darling, these words can only tell you in a small way how I feel about you.

The late Ralph Dawe of Pontiac, Michigan
Ralph had such faith in me that he hired me right out of college to create a supervisory training program for the Fisher Body plant in Pontiac, Michigan. Ralph was head of Salaried Personnel and a great people person. He was a true leader who encouraged me and gave me immense freedom to be creative. He really cared about my development. He was a great friend. When a budget reduction required him to end our training programs, which had been so well received by participants, he assured me that I would have a paycheck until I found a new job. His secretary told me later that he waited until a Monday to inform me about my job loss because he didn't want to spoil my weekend. He asked me how he could help my job search. When I told him I was interested in GM public relations he got me an interview and I had a new job a week later.

The late Mel Boeger of Houston Texas
Mel was Vice President of Public Relations for Shell Oil Company when we met. He hired me to write speeches for Shell Chemical executives. We lived in the same neighborhood and I rode to work with him. After a couple of years I told him I needed to learn the oil business if I was going to work for an oil company. In a major reshuffle of the public relations function he was given the responsibility of managing public relations for U.S. onshore oil and gas exploration and production. One of the first things he did was to hire me to work directly with him.

He was a terrific leader. He understood me much better than I did myself and recognized my strengths of relationship building and community relations.
He and his boss gave me their complete trust to represent Shell throughout the U.S. and build coalitions with legislators, business and community leaders, oil industry leaders, environmental groups and the media. It was a great ride for five years. That is when I solidified my awareness of the value and strength of relationship building and face-to-face communication as the core of effective public relations. I tended to work intuitively without a lot of planning and got great results. I became known for my problem-solving skills. And Mel taught me to make planning and evaluation reporting a part of my work. As a leader Mel understood how to develop people and give them space to grow. And I blossomed in the space he gave me. He was my friend and my mentor.

The late Pat Jackson of New Hampshire
Pat was my hero, mentor and role model. We often spoke at the same conferences on the importance of making public relations a face-to-face relationship-building process. He was extremely busy because his immense talents were always in demand, and he responded by giving of himself extravagantly. Yet he always made time to share ideas with me. After his death he was recognized with the Arthur W. Page Distinguished Service Award which is given "to those who have spent much of their career in service to others in the profession, with the goal of strengthening the role of public relations in our society."

His body of work was to help others recognize public relations as a behavioral science - one primarily concerned with building relationships. He emphasized research and measurement long before they were recognized as essential parts of effective public relations. He believed that public relations was the best way to reach consensus and create change. He led the field, always encouraging others to recognize that public relations is not about communication, but about changing behaviors to improve organizations and society.

I never tired of hearing him share public relations strategies at conferences. He liked my work enough to write articles about it in his newsletter pr reporter several times. He invited me to be associated with his public relations firm. He encouraged and supported me to help carry the banner of face-to-face communication.

The late Everett Rogers, man of the world
Rogers achieved academic fame for his diffusion of innovation theory and his book, Diffusion of Innovations. When I started my business I knew I needed scientific support for my ideas about using relationship-building to create support inside and outside organizations. I needed additional credibility to back up what I had learned by trail and error. The book was a revelation. Here was the scientific basis for how word-of-mouth works. I started teaching Everett's theory and it was the basis for my book, Building Community Support for Schools. Later I discovered that both Everett Rogers and Pat Jackson were going to be at a research symposium at the University of Maryland. I made arrangements to be there. Everett was extremely friendly and told me how he decided to write his book, which came from the history section of his doctoral thesis. He also shared with me some of his projects to create cultural change around the world. I invited him and Pat to sit with me at lunch, and I ate seated between two of my heroes. What a day!


Noel Posus of Sidney, Australia
Noel is my coach. We have never met. Our relationship is on the phone. He has spent the past 17 years coaching and educating on a variety of topics, including life-work balance, values & beliefs and personal development. He led me to transform myself and start unleashing my greatness. With his help, I quickly came out of the hibernation that had engulfed me for a while. I felt like I accomplished more in the first two months of coaching than I had in the previous year. And my growth accelerated after that. Noel is one of the best known coaches in Australia and has clients around the world. He helped me to kick start my business again and to become a better coach. He helps me to think in new ways about what I say and do. If you are looking for a great coach and trainer, learn more about Noel at www.noelposus.com

Bea Fields and Dave Buck
I met these two on a three-way phone conversation when they were interviewing me as a candidate for a special position with CoachVille.com, the world's largest online community of coaches and people interested in coaching (nearly 70,000 members in almost every country in the world.) They were looking for coaches to help diffuse awareness of coaching and what it can do to improve organizations and communities. I did not realize how important and enriching the task would be until I was selected as a CoachVille City Director and began networking and learning from these two masterful coaches.


Bea Fields of Pines Pines, North Carolina
Bea is another of my coaches. She is the "head knocker" Queen Bea for the CoachVille City Director program, an idea she conceived. She is creative and wonderfully pushy, expecting the best from people. And they respond, often giving more than they thought they could. If you are looking for a great business or executive coach, ask if she has space on her calendar. She probably doesn't, and you may have to wait a while. If you need help for your business, check her website: www.fivestarleader.com


Dave Buck, of Hoptacong, New Jersey - CEO, CoachVille.com
Here I am visiting Dave at his training retreat in Hoptacong. Dave was trained by the dean of coaching Thomas Leonard, who founded CoachVille.com. They became very close friends. Today Dave is the new visionary leader of CoachVille and believes coaching will change the world. He made a believer of me, too. He is truly a masterful coach. I love his vision for coaching. I told him my two professional heroes had died and he was my new hero. I also told him that did not mean I was in awe of him, but wanted to be his friend. He seemed to like that. He is extremely busy visioning, creating, philosophizing, teaching and testing new ways to make coaching and CoachVille grow to better serve coaches and people interested in coaching. He is awesome, man! It is a thrill to be included in phone conferences and meetings with him and to visit him in Hoptacong. Dave also is one of the leading experts in the field of personal branding. He has coached hundreds of people from around the globe to become stars in their fields by creating a compelling personal brand. I am lucky to be a member of Dave's team. He's our head coach.

» Contact Jack Pyle for information.

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